Two Things (About Samantha Puckett)
by rockybluewigs
Summary: #KillerTunaJump compliant / There are two things that interested me about Sam. One, she's basically my blond-headed twin. And two, she's a closeted lesbian. / The Puckentine ship, in Jade's POV.
1. Two Things

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Sam & Cat. 'Cause, KillerTunaJump was a mess.**

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I never thought, in the many people I hate in this world, would I find someone who's just as damaged and as violent as I was. These days, the most recent person I've met in my life, is stupid Vega, who has tried in many ways to win the hearts of my _friends_ (well, a pet, my boyfriend and his friends, and Trina in recent times) so I distrusted others in hopes that I don't meet another bitch like her.

Therefore, going to Cat's new home scares me in ways I never thought possible. However, we need to finish this project, and I am sure as hell not going to get an F, in favor to Vega and her stupid smile. I knew that Cat had a roommate, due to her excitement to housing a celebrity in her Nonna's home after she checked in to an elderly home. There's no way she can keep up a house in LA without any helpings of money.

That's when the babysitting service comes into play. When I hear about it, I was surprised. I know a lot of parents in LA were busy with kids, so they would pay for any two girls to get their children out of their hair. I hear they're good babysitters, albeit being inexperienced.

I hear yelling and a rough voice behind her door, and the door opens. I smile sheepishly at Cat until she screams and babbles about her roommate and stuff like that, but I ignore her and waltz inside the apartment to see the blond bombshell—_woah_—in front of me.

"Hey," I greet.

"Hey," she says back, quickly.

After Cat faints, I take that opportunity to get to know this...roommate of hers. I recognize her from a web show that my annoying little brother used to watch, but I keep some of my cool. I'm starstruck, but not that much.

She's Sam. She's rough, tough, and a wolf in sheep's clothing with a criminal record and a love for ham. She's also violent, antisocial, and takes shit from nobody. She uses weapons to attack her opponents. She's a natural alpha woman. She's dominant, aggressive, and street smart.

She's my kind of woman.

But after meeting Sam today, there are two things that interested me about her.

One, she's _basically_ my blond-headed twin.

Anyone who laughs when babies cry, and shares the same love for horror movies is me in disguise. I can't even watch The Scissoring with Cat without her running away and crying, and forget about Vega. She's just as squeamish. I almost, _almost_ fell in love with this ex-celebrity with blue eyes, blond hair, and a motorcycle to boot. If she was a guy, I'd hit that the first chance I get.

Two, she's a _closeted_ lesbian.

Yeah, you heard me.

Throughout these few days (even after the tuna jump that didn't happen), I realize that she loves my little kitty Cat, even more than Robbie _ever_ did. She can date her ex-boyfriend, and disgustingly kiss Robbie all she wants, but I know a lesbian when I see one.

No, it's not the motorcycle, or the tomboyish look. I catch her staring at Cat more than Robbie does. I even caught her staring at my rack at the movies. Yeah. I didn't say anything, but it still intrigues me. She quickly looks over to the side when I did feel her stare at me, and thus, my hypothesis starts.

She didn't seem comfortable about finding out about Freddie at LA. Besides that thought that they used to date, there's that other thought.

Freddie and Cat.

Freddie is Sam's ex-boyfriend, best friend, and ex-business partner from their web show. Cat is Sam's current business partner, friend, and _crush_. These two don't even know how much they mean to Sam, so seeing Sam's angry face to see her ex with her new friend is major betrayal. I wasn't so sure on who she was mad with, but I figured it out. She's more mad at Freddie, because he '_stole_' Cat from her.

When Sam told me about always feeling second best to her other best friend, I felt sorry for her, as well as feeling how she feels. Dating Beck made me possessive, insecure, and angry because he was good-looking, and I always feared that he would leave me for another girl, just like how my dad left my mom.

Which is why I still hate Vega. She kissed my boyfriend, and insisted that we must become friends. She even went as far as denying the chance to date Beck because she _wants_ to be my friend.

Yeah, we're close, but she is _not_ my friend. I don't think she'll _ever_ be. I already have a genki-girl wreaking havoc on my life; why do I suddenly need _another_ one?

So that also made me conclude on who she was mad with.

Cat used her ex to make her jealous, because she felt that I was hogging time with Sam. To be honest, Sam's hot, but she's a _girl_. Again, If she suddenly had a gender bender of herself, then maybe I'll let Vega have Beck, and they can pop Half Latina Canadian babies and shit. But my point is, that Cat felt threatened by our friendship. We're dominant beasts, alpha females in a beta world; she thinks we'd kill each other. Maybe I did want to, for a while, but I see how Sam makes Cat happy, since Nonna moved to a nursing home.

Throughout that experience, I realized _one_ more thing. Sam needs someone who will not make her feel like shit. (Or second best.) Freddie is _not_ that guy. It's a good thing she's a lesbian.

I'm going to have fun with this.

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**AN: I'm probably the only fan that hated KillerTunaJump, due to the ending with Seddie and Cabbie ship tease (and lord knows how much I loathe Seddie _and_ Cabbie), but there was one thing I enjoyed. Jam. Haha, not in that sense. I really liked Sam's instant friendship with Jade, especially when we all thought they would hate each other, if they ever crossed paths. However, they were really great with each other. **

**Anyway, this is just a sense of 'Jade can detect Sam's lesbianism and no one else can' type of fic. I've been thinking of it ever since the episode ended, because that was a complete mess for me. I was so angry, man. Hopefully, YayDay can redeem the show for me.**

**If I ever continue with this, god forbid there will be craziness. So until then, I'm marking as complete. Don't get me wrong, I see potential in this plot. Just not yet. I'm working on a Lab Rats fic and school is starting in a week.**


	2. Triple Dating

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sam & Cat. I also don't own BF Wangs.**

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"So, what you're saying is that Sam has a thing for _girls_?" I nod. I watch as Robbie's face turns particularly sour. I don't know why, it shouldn't surprise anyone. "And she _may_ have a thing for Cat?"

"Yes, that is _exactly_ what I'm saying!" I snap. Seriously, he doesn't get the point! It's been two weeks since the tuna jump fiasco, and everyone's back to their 'normal' lives. However, for these past two weeks, I notice a shift in Sam's friendship with Cat. Just two days ago, Cat makes up 'Yay Day' which is a mash-up of birthdays and Christmas, since everyone gives each other presents.

What I find out by Cat herself, is that she gives Sam a dirty pillow because she thought Sam buys her mouthwash. Actually, the mouthwash was mislabeled and for their friend Goomer, and Sam brought the gift that I was eventually going to buy Cat for her eighteenth birthday in June. I would normally get pissed off, but I actually like Sam, so I let it slide for now. Plus, Cat's a snooper and has loose lips, so I think everyone would have brought her the same gift for her birthday.

Besides, I did a little hustle with Herb to get the leather jacket back, but I'm not giving anything to anyone just yet.

"But...what about—"

"Seriously, Robbie? Do you _really_ think you would have had a chance? I inquire, with an eye roll. "Do you see, this was all a _ploy_ for one to notice the other! Cat didn't like me hanging with Sam, so she called Sam's ex-boyfriend. Then I called you to diffuse the tension. However, all they ever did was show each other up."

Robbie tries to say something, but his mouth closes. Maybe he sees the point... "That would probably explain why they always spend so much time together! And why...I saw them holding each other the time when I was in the pool with those deadly tuna fish."

"Wow, you _actually_ see my point!" I grin somewhat happily. Maybe he isn't as stupid as I thought.

"But, what does that mean? I don't think Sam's pride would allow her to admit anything." And that's where everything falls flat. Sam has _way_ too much pride. No, not gay pride. It's...a certain type of pride where one can't show their emotions towards other people. I do that a lot, even though Beck (and unfortunately Vega) have seen my breaking points more than once. "And what if Cat doesn't like her back?"

"Trust me, she does like Sam back." I know she does. I've known her for years, and I know when Cat really likes someone. "Look, Freddie's here for a few days, and you really wanna go on a date with Cat—"

"Not really," he interrupts.

"—So, we organize a little triple date. You and Cat, Freddie and Sam, and me and Beck, at the BF Wangs near Cat's apartment," I suggest, ignoring the little interruption. "It's just a little date with six friends, and loads of food, and it is Valentine's Day tomorrow."

"Shouldn't we invite—"

"Yeah no," I roll my eyes. "I prefer if Vega stays away from this. If she knows anything about this, she will try to ruin everything by becoming friends with Sam and pushing her to admit her feelings. The thing that Vega fails to understand is that no one can admit their feelings or their sexuality so fast." Plus, if no one has noticed, I'm completely fed up with her. I think everyone is, except for Robbie, apparently. "We can probably also get a discount since Trina works there."

"She hates us."

"Yeah, but she _loves_ me." Okay, far fetched, but if she has to choose which one she liked the best...no. No, wait. Maybe she still likes me best. "But, besides the point. You in or you in?"

"Do I _have_ a choice?"

I shake my head. "Technically you do have a choice, but I'm going to go with yes."

"So, I did have a choice!" Robbie beams. I give him my worst death glare, and he shrinks immediately. "Sorry."

—

Fitting three girls, including myself, in a car isn't that bad. However, fitting six teenagers (including myself) who have a mixture of claustrophobia, social awkwardness, and plain idiocy (not to mention a criminal record and a short fuse) is _horrible_. If this was going to happen, I would have rented a _fucking minivan_! Lesson learned: everyone will drive themselves. Sam has a motorcycle and she can fit another person in the backseat, and Robbie passed his road test two days before Vega failed hers for the second time.

Not only that, Cat is acting like a dog again. I just cannot deal with all of this craziness in my car.

"Roll up that window, or I will see to it that your tongue will skid across the street," I growl, and she puts her head back inside. "Thank you."

"Bossy," I hear the redhead mutter.

I'm this close to slamming her head against the dashboard, but I keep remembering that Sam's also here, and would probably hate me for killing her potential suitor...not only that, I'll be making a criminal record myself. "I thought the place was near!" I hear Robbie complain, while his leg shakes against Cat's.

"I had to pick _you_ up, remember?" I reply, with a slight bit of sarcasm in my tone.

"Babe, are you sure you're not lost?"

I stop at a red stoplight, and glare to my right. "I think I know where I'm fucking going."

Cat covers her ears, and sings to herself, trying to block out the 'bad' words. "Oh my god, give it a rest, Valentine! You hang out with Sam, for Pete's sake!"

"Hey!" Sam exclaims. "I don't cuss...all the time, _especially_ around Cat." She puts her arm around Cat's shoulders, and that seems to calm the redhead even more immediately than anyone could. This, would normally make my jealousy go through the roof, but I am so dedicated to making Sam realize her feelings that I don't even care.

Actually, _looking_ at them makes me calm down a little. "Whatever. We're not lost, and we're not saying bad words in front of Cat anymore, so no one says any bad words. It's supposed to be the mushiest day of the year...even though I blatantly hate Valentine's day—"

"So you hate me?"

I sigh angrily, "No, Cat. I mean, I hate the holiday, _not_ you."

"But...it's named after me—" Suddenly, Sam whispers in her ear for a few minutes before withdrawing. Her mouth forms an 'O', which makes me wonder what did she say. "Oh, then, carry on."

After pulling up to the parking lot, we make a reservation of six in a particularly busy day at BF Wangs. Ugh. Why does everyone come here for a date? Why not have a sushi date, or a karaoke date or a cheesecake date? Why a Chinese bistro? It is not even _romantic_ here! Yes, the place is pretty new, but besides that, why is it so busy?

"It's a forty minute wait—"

"_A forty-minute wait?_" I bark at the hostess, who shrinks immediately in fear. "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't tell me that we are the only ones doing a triple date on Valentine's day! You see to it, that we get a table in the next five minutes, or I will impale you with the sharpest scissors I own. Do I _make myself clear_?"

"Crystal," she squeaks, and speeds away.

"Dang, that would've worked back when Fredwad and I went on our first alone date," Sam grins, proudly.

"That was almost _exactly_ how you handled it!" He argues back. "Except you immediately pulled out the butter sock and destroyed the entire host table."

I roll my eyes shut, deciding on what to be angry about: the horrible service, or smelling the impending argument between Sam and Freddie. They really don't deserve each other, and I hope that they realize it. If not, I will make them.

"What's up with this—" I snap my eyes open, seeing the angry nineteen year old Trina glaring at either me or the people behind me. No, that's at me. "I should've known, it was Jade West who made our best hostess quit on Valentine's day."

"Hi Trina!" Cat cheers happily, like she's the happiest person to see the older woman. "Happy my last name day!"

"Hey..._better_ Vega," I shamefully grin, but it doesn't falter Trina's glare. "How's...uh, USC?"

"Expensive," she shoots back. "And don't try to sweet talk me. We're busy and you just made Anna quit. But you're lucky that a table just cleared up."

"Oh come on, you love me too," I joke, and it still doesn't falter her glare.

"Keep telling yourself that." Sighing dutifully, she picks up six menus. "Right this way." Everyone follows Trina over to a six-chaired square table that's recently been cleared of all dirty dishes. No, seriously. The busser just came here only to wipe the table with a rag that's probably dirtier than the urinals. I blink before sitting on the chair next to Beck, ignoring his curt way to pull the chair out for me.

I watch as Cat sits next to Sam immediately, making me face the annoying aura of Robbie. Yeah, he's smart for figuring out Sam's lesbianism and Cat's crush on the blond, but that doesn't mean he's immediately liked between us.

"Now that you guys have a table, might I start with some drinks? And if you know what you want to order, that is fine too." She pulls out her notepad, and takes all of our drink orders, and saunters away.

An awkward silence follows, since this was a hastily planned triple date. I scared off a stupid hostess who couldn't tell us that a six-chaired table was available on time, I promised myself not to cuss out another person that crosses my path (but that failed) and I sense the awkward tension between the other couples that isn't Beck and me. All we need is stupid Vega and this date will be a disaster.

Ugh, _speaking_ of the devil.

"Hey guys!" She grins at us, with a new guy standing next to her. "May we join you?"

"How about _no_!" I say sarcastically. "No one wants you here."

"Stop, Jade," Beck frowns, and smiles at the couple (albeit forcefully). "Of course you can join us, Tori and friend."

I drag Beck out of his seat and pull him over to the side where the table is far. "Are you fuc-fricking kidding me?" I stammer at the cuss word, and glare at the idiotic Canadian next to me. "I don't want her here!"

Beck rolls his eyes and gives me a disappointed look. "Why do you always have beef with—"

"Because she's a freakin' female dog with no standards to keep her legs closed for any guy who crosses her path!" I shoot back, with very little willpower to keep this pseudo-promise. I hate not cussing people out because Cat can't get a grip on the trials and tribulations of teenage rage. I hate it when Beck plays the fucking nice card on fucking _sluts_ that don't deserve that kindness. "She's going to ruin this date!"

"How?"

"With her stupid face, her happy-go-lucky aura, and her cheekbones; especially her cheekbones!" I hiss angrily, and just in time, both Vega sisters show up. Trina has her hands full with glasses, and Tori has her hands on a chair. "See what I mean?"

"You're kidding, right?" She appoints her glare at her younger sister, who shrugs in indifference. "Please go to the table I assigned you in! I'm trying not to lose my job, much like the _last_ time!"

I was going to say that I had a part in it, but I keep my mouth shut. Ever since the challenge to say 'yes' to everything, Trina has this vendetta against me and her younger sister - moreso Vega than me, though. I have worked things out with the nineteen year old, which is why I was able to get a table so fast, but I will be damned to let two goddamned Vegas ruin this haphazard date. "Are you still going on about that? Let it go!"

"Go to the table, _now_!" Trina shouts. "I will be there in a few minutes."

I shake my head amusedly as the younger Vega sulks away, and I let out a sigh of relief. "Finally. I can breathe again."

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**AN: I told you I would continue this! I always keep my promises. Now, with the story going the way it is, it may be a short story. However, I will try to keep the word count at around 1500, the minimum. There's a lot of humor, drama, and all around romance, so sit tight. Although this chapter is a stalemate...**

**I haven't watched the recent episodes either. I'm falling behind, mainly because of work, so I will not follow any episodes after YayDay.**

**And if you're confused with the Jori bickering, holy shit, you will be confused for a while. I have a plan for them, but I love bickering Jori. it brings balance. (I actually tweeted this, so déjà vu)**


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